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How
to Make Confrontation :
A
Matter of Cooperation
"An argument is
an exchange of audibility and a contest is an exchange of
stupidity." This is an oft-repeated phrase of my late father’s
about people who argue simply for the sake of argument.
Some people do give
the impression that they live to argue! It is futile to change the
view of total cynics. We should rather accept them as they are and get
on with our own lives.
It is good to be
open-minded and to encourage arguments and dissent on matters of
importance, as analytical thinking is vital for good decision-making.
To believe with certainty, we must begin with doubt. However, once a
policy decision is taken, there should be no room for doubt.
What is an argument?
It’s nothing but thinking differently. We should allow the free flow
of thought. Everybody’s contribution is vitally important and
brainstorming can bring up many possible solutions. The best leaders
are good at listening to others’ opinions. Listening is an important
part of communication.
People who often use
the words "we" or "let’s" are likely to
accomplish enduring success in their chosen fields. They believe in
working together with a sense of team spirit.
As the saying goes,
it is better to debate a question without settling it than to settle a
question without debating it. A man who talks frankly and argues
vehemently before a decision is taken is far more committed than a
person who meekly accepts decisions but implements them
half-heartedly.
In the words of Frank
McKinney Hubbard, "The fellow that agrees with everything you say
is either a fool or is getting ready to skin you."
A management guru
makes this point even more clear. "Be democratic in
decision-making and dictatorial in implementation. Many people
mismanage by having this upside down."
Alfred P. Sloan, Jr.
President of General Motors, U.S.A., is reported to have said at a
meeting of top GM Management: "Gentlemen, I take it we are in
complete agreement on the decision here." Everyone around the
table nodded assent. "Then," continued Mr. Sloan, "I
propose we postpone further discussion of this matter to give
ourselves time to develop disagreement and perhaps gain some
understanding of what the decision is all about."
It is a pity that in
real life situations, acceptance of an idea is determined by who
advocates it and not by the strength of the idea.
At times, we may not
be able to produce convincing arguments but deep inside our heart, we
know we’re right. Faith can transcend reason and the heart has its
own reasons. A wise man once said: "You can think with your heart
but you can’t feel with your mind."
Strongly held views
may not always pass the test of time. Life’s ordeals make one more
mature and sober, bringing tolerance of others’ opinions.
A poet laureate in
India was once a confirmed atheist. He had studied many Hindu
religious texts and epics with great fervor and became a scholar in
his own right. With this background, he sharpened his debating skills
and managed to win over opponents to his side.
Strangely, after a
few years when he was into his middle age, he changed his views on God
thoroughly and became a devotee of Lord Krishna. He became a deeply
spiritual and religious person. There was no stopping him thereafter
and he produced excellent and highly inspiring works of religious
philosophy, easily understandable to laymen.
His life proves this
statement: "If you haven’t discarded a major opinion or
acquired a new one in the last few years, check your pulse; you may be
dead."
by
: D. Chandramouli
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