If financial anxieties are keeping you up at night,
you're not alone. So many people worry about money that a
new industry of money psychologists has sprung up to treat
them. Some people worry that they'll never have enough,
while others worry that they aren't measuring up to their
bragging neighbors; still others worry that they don't
deserve the money that they have. Once you get started,
there's plenty to worry about, including:
• I'll never get out of debt.
• Everybody but me is getting
rich in the stock market.
• I don't know how we'll ever
send our kids to college.
• I'll be 90 before I can
afford to retire.
• My husband (or wife) is a
spendthrift who will never understand financial
responsibility.
• How will I ever pay that
bill due on Tuesday?
• What if I lose my job?
And so on. Women suffer from money worries more intensely
than men; A survey
showed that three out of every five women are more likely to
be worrying about money than thinking about sex. As much as
men may agonize about their finances, they still think about
sex more. Women worry about money for reasons both good and
bad. They have and earn less money, interrupt their careers
to take care of kids and parents, outlive their spouses by
seven years or more, and generally have more cause for
concern. But they also hurt themselves by being overly
cautious about money; by being so afraid to take financial
and career risks that they don't earn all that they could;
and by losing sleep and worrying about money when they're in
better financial shape than they think.
There are techniques that can help. Some are financial
and others are psychological exercises that can help put
money back in its proper place. Here are 10 steps that can
help you banish financial stress:
1) Do whatever it takes to pay down debts, especially on
credit cards. To get your credit cards down to zero, skip a
vacation, have a yard sale, take a temporary second job, do
freelance work, or cut out your optional household expenses
like your cable service. Drastic times require drastic
measures. Credit card balances are like black holes, and
once you dig out, you'll have financial freedom worth more
than whatever you were charging.
2) Put your finances on the computer. Both Quicken and
Microsoft Money are excellent programs that will allow you
to get a clear picture of your finances. You will be able to
look at your net worth statement and see that things aren't
as bad as you thought. You will learn that a dollar saved is
better than a dollar earned – it's not taxed – and that
a dollar paid toward your mortgage raises your net worth
just as much as a dollar invested in the stock market.
3) Make a money emergency list. Write down at least 50
sources of backup money that you could get if you needed it
in a pinch. Everything from a second mortgage to your
father-in-law, to a nighttime waitressing job, to selling
that stationary bike which makes such a good suit valet.
You'll know that if the wolf is ever at the door, you do
have emergency backup. You'll never be on the street.
4) Make another list, of those people you admire most.
How many of them are rich? How many talk about their stock
market profits? Use this list to remind yourself that the
character traits and deeds you admire most are not
financial.
5) Invest automatically. Put at least one savings account
on autopilot, by authorizing a mutual fund to draw a set
amount out of your checking account every month. You won't
miss the money. And before you know it, you'll have a nice
little bit of spare cash. If you put $125 a month into a
long-term stock fund, you could have $1,574 in a year,
$9,808 in five years and $26,351 in 10.
6) Learn to separate your money from yourself. If you
work for yourself, it's a good idea to have a name for your
business that's different from your own name. Think of money
as a tool, like a hammer or pencil. Use that tool to fulfill
your own goals.
7) Have a financial plan, even if it's an informal one
that you write yourself. Put a price tag on the goals that
are important to you, and evaluate the price by deciding how
much time it takes you to earn the money for that price.
Decide which goals are worth working for and which aren't.
Budget for the ones that you really want.
8) Schedule some free fun every week.
9) Read Your Money or Your Life by Joe Dominguez
and Vicki Robin (Viking Press, 1992, $20). It's a classic
and clearly explains how to keep money in its place.
10) Contain your worries. Allow yourself five minutes a
day of abject dread. Think of the worst-case financial
scenario, remember your list of emergency backup money, and
put it all away. Then be more "manly" and stop
worrying — think about sex instead.
