Eleven years into her marriage, Manjula finds she has less and less in common with her husband: Life is a routine her and she sometimes feels depressed or restless over no issue at all
Sushma and Sudha are sisters, living with their parents; good friends earlier, they now share little time together more their relationship is becoming more cordial, less friendly.
Amazing, isn’t it? People and relationships which we are so proud of, can with the passage of time, seem so ordinary, routine and dull. Lifeless, one could say. What is it that is happening in our lives? While the quality of life is definitely improving, the quality of our relationships – at home and at work seems to be nose-diving. Very often we find people bored with their spouses and their bosses, their colleagues and their friends and their friends.
“I have been suffering from bouts of depression,” writes Rekha, “I have been taking psychiatric help to overcome it, I am more and more dependent on drugs now.”
Feel that depression, the lack of interest in building and developing relationships, are symptomatic of a deeper malaise. “Very often we feel our lives are getting devalued,” says a senior psychiatrist.” And it seems that our self esteem is getting eroded. People around us are being aggressive and negative in their dealings with us. They could also be trying to put us down. As a result, the situation seems very difficult to handle. And this is when we get caught in a whirlpool of depression.”
So what’s the way out of the whirlpool? How do we make our lives more interesting, our relationships more vibrant? New wine in old bottles!
We have to make the effort to do new things, adopt new habits, make new friends, join a new club or a new kitty arty.
If you find socializing a burden, try working for a social cause with an NGO: you may discover your true vacation
With spouses at home, and colleagues in office, make an attempt to understand what interests them and steer your conversation to those issues.
Try not to be revengeful or vindictive in your relationships; be more compassionate. In the case of Manjula, she has let her life become a boring routine. What can she do now to pep it up? How can she revive it?
She can take the initiative to plan a family holiday together in an exciting and not necessarily an expensive place.
Change the way the house looks. You see, there are so many things Manjula can do revitalise herself, the growing children. It is a question of taking the initiative.
Relationships remain young and youthful if one is able to keep the interest alive; to do positive and cheerful things. And not find excuses to avoid doing so. So if you want to stay forever young, you have to invest in relationships.
And more importantly in yourself!