Same same but different…
Pop quiz!
What do Biju Patnaik, Tintin and me have in common?
Well, the answer is Indonesia.
Biju Patnaik was close to Indonesia’s first President, Sukarno and has played an important role in their Independence. He also suggested the name Megawati for Sukarno’s daughter.
Tintin in the book ‘Flight 714’ lands in Jakarta (spelt Djakarta back then) And then there is me, who has spent the majority of my life here.
I had to use this as Clickbait so that you can continue reading in these times of attention deficit!
Some of you might be living in Indonesia or would have heard or read about this country.
Growing up in India, I only knew as much as what I was taught in school about Jawa, Sumatra, and Borneo in the Geography class (or was it History?) I do not quite recollect as I was too busy sitting in the back, making a Dream World Test IX with my bench buddy. Yes, you read it right. Test IX and not XI, because in my mind, Gavaskar opening the batting with me was obvious!
Nowadays, with easy access to information, many would know far more than what I did about Indonesia.
There have been many articles written on the close political ties between the two nonaligned countries who gained independence around the same time with stories of Nehru and Sukarno sharing the fondness for cigarettes and other hot and slender interests…
Also on the Bahasa language with its roots in Sanskrit with puerile jokes on how milk is referred to as ‘Susu’, promptly followed by grownups giggling like Grade 6 children on a joke about poop.
Some further elaborate stating that in Bahasa, C is pronounced as Ch but I will end that here and just ‘Cut ya’.
There is a lot covered on the visible influence of Hindu culture in a predominantly Muslim country. Hindu Gods, Ramayana and Mahabharata are seen depicted in dances, statues, bank notes and even names. Coming across someone with names like Yudhishtra, Bheema, Arjuna or Aditya is quite common. More on that later…
Suffice to say that India and Indonesia share a lot of similarities. The people are warm, polite and friendly. This trait can be found in India as well as many other countries.
Here is what I found different, which I feel, is very distinctive amongst Indonesians. I have come across instances where I sense that they exemplify the teachings of The Gita, albeit unknowingly. There is a certain Zen like wisdom, stoicism and stillness in their minds and approach which is difficult to elucidate.
I will, however, attempt to illustrate this through some of my experiences.
Many years ago, I lost my temper due to a careless mistake by one of my staff at work which caused losses. The person was honest enough to accept the blunder and also apologized. I was furious and screaming when suddenly he raised his hand as said calmly “Stop shouting. I have made a mistake and I am genuinely sorry.” I continued saying “This is a very costly mistake” and he softly said “We all make mistakes. Haven’t you? It is just that mine turned out to be a costly one. If you don’t like my work then fire me but stop screaming.” I was momentarily stunned and speechless and then thought to myself that this is someone who is sincere and genuinely sorry about his mistake and neither shouting nor firing him will solve anything. So I just went about finding solutions to the problem and he continued as an honest and more diligent worker for years to come! It was a lesson on anger management and logical thinking!
Some of their habits and mannerisms can be a direct contrast to our culture or social conditioning but understanding their intentions takes some level of open minded ness.
I was working in a factory where some of my colleagues would drop by at my desk from the shop floor for a tea break. They would then place their specific requests like strong, milk, no sugar, less sugar etc. to the office boy. He would always ask for feedback and take great pride when he got it spot on which he often did. One day, I happened to pass the pantry when he was preparing the tea and he didn’t notice that I was there. I could hear him mumbling to himself on the specifications of each request and also saw him dipping a spoon in each cup and tasting it and exclaiming “Ah, perfect! Just the way he likes it!”
Well, this rather unhygienic method of ‘quality tasting’ isn’t everybody’s cup of tea but the purpose behind it was sincere and pure, a lot like Shabari from the Ramayana.
I was once driving past one of the poshest areas of Jakarta lined with magnificent mansions. I remarked to the taxi driver that these must me belonging to the ultra-rich. He replied “These belong to people with a lot of difficulties…” Noticing the perplexed look on
my face he clarified with a wry smile “Difficulties sleeping”! Those words were laced with dry wit, simple acceptance and a sense of gratitude.
Another instance was when I was waiting for the elevator at my apartment lobby. There was an old lady who was working as a domestic help also waiting beside me. She was muttering under her breath “This lift is so slow and it is taking too long” The moment she got in, she wondered aloud “Did the lift take long or did it seem long because I was impatient and in a hurry?” This honest introspection from a person who was probably uneducated revealed so much to me about their innate thoughtfulness.
Indonesians also have the unique talent to infuriate you and yet placate you at the same time. Some years back, my bag got stolen from my car. It had some money, headphones, my kindle and most importantly, my passport. I immediately went to the nearby police station to file a report with the hope that they can help find my bag. The elderly policeman politely enquired and took down my complaint and the details. At the end, when I was hoping that he will assure me that he will investigate and nab the thief, he calmly handed me a copy of the report, patted me on my shoulder and said “I pray to God that he bestows you with immeasurably more wealth than what you have lost in the bag”!
I left the station with a piece of paper, warm blessings and mixed feelings!
The Indonesians seem to have this acceptance about what they can’t control like handling the worst traffic with saintly serenity.
Even the way they cope with grief is astounding. I visited a home to pay condolences to the family of one of my young colleagues who had passed away tragically. I was speechless and heartbroken to see his widowed wife and little children. I summoned up the courage to go shake her hand and she said softly “My husband passed away suddenly so if he has said or done anything to hurt you then I apologize on his behalf”
This is part of the culture but to muster the strength to repeat this to every person who visited is not only unimaginable but also extremely humbling.
Something about the way they look at life is intriguing. We were holidaying in Bali. We were in the car with our regular driver when we suddenly felt a strong jolt and heard a loud thud and that dreaded metallic clatter. Our car had been hit from behind, firmly albeit at a low speed. Our driver didn’t even stop to look at the damage and continued taking us to our destination. Puzzled, I told him to stop and have a look. He replied “What has happened can’t be undone. I will fix it later. You are my guests and I am not going to let this incident ruin your day. It is my duty to ensure that you have a great time on your holiday.”
Oh ya! About the names…his name was Dharma.
by Uday Jayaraman.
August 2025.
