Are you struggling with decision making?
Don’t know what the right decision is?
One method to figure out the knots in your mind is through self-observation. This means looking inside your heart and your mind for the right answers that feels right to YOU. Other than that, it is also a way to observe how you are doing when you are facing a mental or spiritual dilemma.
Here are the 5 steps for self-observation:
- Let go of the self-destructive behavior.
When you are starting to meditate, you need to cleanse yourself of your past self. This can be done by letting go of the destructive things you do to yourself. Whether it is smoking or social media addiction, letting go will give you a clean slate for new beginnings.
Afterwards, you can start your mindfulness practice of being there, being present, paying attention, and learning to be there for yourself. By doing this, your mindfulness and meditation practices can be done properly without distractions of other self-destructive activities.
- Create unfilled space for silence without distractions.
Now is the time for meditation and mindfulness. This practice can be done wherever you feel comfortable. It can be at home, in a chair, on the porch. Try to keep it simple. You may be inclined to start by sitting, but if that feels too much then go for with a quiet walk without distractions.
Another reason why we suggest you to let go of self-destructive behavior is that you won’t get distracted. Screens, news feeds, and social media feeds can make it hard to observe your inner life. Instead, creating space may help you discover the real hunger, the real need within you that may be reacting out in an addictive or compulsive way.
As a result, you will also begin to understand why you also have those self-destructive habits. By creating space for yourself, to give attention to your inner happenings, is to begin healing yourself.
- Do nothing but observe your thoughts.
This is the part when you start observing your thoughts; listen, feel, pay attention. With some space, silence and stillness, you’ll be surprised at how much you can observe about yourself.
Mindfulness is learning to be there, just as you are. Don’t try to change anything but simply observe. By doing this-giving yourself with attention, listening, watching, and observing-you can get the answers you need. Observing your behaviors and mindsets will lead you to be genuine with yourself and therefore can lead to answers and solutions that drive compulsive patterns. But be warned, that listening to yourself also meant observing the bad and ugly sides of yourself.
- Collect data from your observation. Did you get any insights?
Listening is one of the most important aspects of observation. For this reason, you will need silence in order to listen to your inner happenings. As you listen and observe yourself, you will get to know the different parts of yourself—the parts of you that want to quit the compulsions, and the parts of you that don’t want to quit. You will get to know the parts of you that fuss and scream that it’s too hard, and get to know the parts of you that resist.
Why is observing yourself important? This is because there are some parts of yourself that may be resisting the most important parts of your future. There may be parts of you that are resisting a new path, a different life, more opportunity, improved health, and better relationships. Unknowingly, all the good things you want in life can be the very things you resist.
- Do you want to do anything with the insights? Does anything need to be done?
Mindfulness may seem confusing as you are listening to yourself, yet there are some parts of yourself that are negative as well. Our first instinct might be to push it away and keep it away as far as possible. But that is not the point of mindfulness. No matter how bad it is, the mindfulness approach to resistance is not to beat it, shame it, punish it, strong-arm it with willpower, or distract. Create space for it. We get to know it. We give it attention by looking, observing, being with, and listening. If anything, we come up closer, quieter, and gentler to our resistance.
You may think that the solution is to follow our instincts of quitting and giving it all up, but rather question ourselves why are resisting things like a new path, a different life, better opportunities, improved health and relationships, and real success?
The more you dig about yourself, you will be tapping into your unconscious processes. By doing that, you can create powerful, long-term changes in your lives. The very things we so desperately desire can feel unsafe because they are unknown and unfamiliar. The path to a better life may come with thoughts that we have to walk it alone, and in many ways, this is true.
Have you gotten the answers by self-observing? Tell us what you think in the comments section below!