Building Children’s Character


Building Children's Characterby Barbara Joy Clarke

is a belief in an absolute system of right and wrong, combined with the will to do what is right regardless of the cost.  Therefore, a person with character will say, “What’s the right thing to do?” and a person with NO character will say, “What’s in it for me?”. You automatically have respect for a person with ‘character’.

Character deals with the matters of the heart–the inner you, not the outer you.  The foundation of a person is the character.  When you are an adult, you should proudly be able to say I’m a person of character, I don’t do what’s wrong”.

In the past, society defined success in terms of character–what a person stood for, what a person believes, and the condition of the heart of the person.  Unfortunately, in today’s society, the shift is from character to achievement, to performance, to doing.  It’s no longer what the condition of your heart is, it’s how well you perform.  We are living in a culture today when we come to a fork in the road where we have to choose character over achievement, most choose achievement.  When that happens, there is an automatic change in a person’s ethics or values.

We are slowly eliminating from our thinking and our line of sight the very thing we need most as individuals and as a nation.

Why is it important for parents to build ‘character’ in their children?

Your children need to know within their hearts what is ‘right’ and what is ‘wrong’.

Children who have been taught ‘character’ by mom and dad automatically know ‘right’ from ‘wrong’ and have the will to practice what is the right thing to do regardless of the cost to them.

The key is to instill in your children the very necessary “moral and value” system that will build character and discipline.  This will enable your children to make the ‘right choices’ in their lives and have the will to practice them when pressured by outside influences, namely peer pressure.

Here are some A-Z guidelines:

A is for Accountability – Hold your children accountable for their behaviour.
Making your children accountable for their behaviour teaches your kids right from wrong.
It also teaches your kids that we are all allowed to make choices and that you expect them to make the right choice because they are a person of ‘character’. All children who have character make the right choice guide your children to make the right choice. He will quickly learn to be accountable for their behaviour and make the right choice.

C is for Character – Help your son or daughter become a person with character, to be able to know right from wrong and have the will to practice it.
“Our society desperately needs men and women of  ‘character’. ”
This profound statement was made by me as a wake-up call to all parents worldwide as a result of the violence and killings at Little on High School in Colorado. Children with ‘character’ know automatically in their hearts that being violent is not the right thing to do

Our society is the most informed and well educated society by far, yet unfortunately, drug use of our young people is on the rise.  More parents are becoming alarmed and concerned then ever before and asking themselves the question”Gosh, I hope my child doesn’t do drugs and become a burden on me and society”.  A child of character knows within their heart that it is “cool” to say NO to drugs.

He or she will NOT be influenced to take drugs because mom and dad have taught him/her ‘character’, it’s as simple as that!

F is for Forgiveness –  Practice forgiveness regularly and teach the importance of  it.
Teaching your children to forgive others is the best way to achieve peace of mind and live a stress-free life.
A great example of this is as follows.  Your daughter has had a disagreement with her friend and swears she will never talk to her again. Ask her to forgive the friend and forget the episode.

H is for Humour –  Make sure you keep your sense of humour.  Laugh with your children often.
Laughing with your children as often as you can is not only enjoyable for you and your children but more important it is very healthy as well.  Laughter gets rid of impurities and is good for everyone’s well-being.  Children come out with funny things and are a joy to behold.

N is for No – Use it and mean it.
We all know it’s difficult to say NO to our children at times, but saying no when you think the occasion requires it, is a must for all parents.  Do not let your children intimidate you. Just in case you didn’t know it, your children are smart you know and know all the tricks to get mom and dad to change their minds

R is for Respect – Show your children due respect.
When talking to your children, talk to them nicely to show them that you feel they are worthwhile people.  Do NOT shout, scream or yell at your children. Parents must set the example, so their children will learn from their example.  Don’t ever forget, parents, children watch you, they want to be like you.  Remember also children are just little people, extensions of what we ourselves once were, they don’t know any better it’s up to mom and dad to teach them and guide them so they will know better from your example, it’s as simple as that.

Author’s Biography:

Barbara Joy Clarke is a qualified educator, educating both parents and children for over 30 years.  Her parenting guidebook evolved at the request of parents themselves who were confused about what to teach their children.  Barbara Joy listened to parents and has written an outstanding A-Z Self-Help Parenting Guidebook for all parents worldwide regardless of race or religion She has appeared on radio, television and her book reviewed in magazines. Barbara Joy and her family live in Ontario, Canada.  She has received the prestigious national and international Parent to Parent “Adding Wisdom” Award due to her awesome work in helping to make this world a better place for all families and individuals.

To discover more important facts on HOW TO HAVE AMAZING KIDS, visit her website at

Always Remember A Child’s BEST Advocate is always an informed and educated PARENT.