Father’s Day is a perfect time to spend more time with your father. Taking your dad to dinner, give him gifts, play golf with them are among the ways you can celebrate the day. However, not everyone is able to celebrate Father’s Day with joy and peace for some reasons.
Perhaps your father has passed away, or perhaps you haven’t seen him for ages. For others, Father’s Day can be a painful holiday because it reminds them that the relationship with their father is not as beautiful as they wish.
If you want to reconnect with the dad of your life, Father’s Day can be a perfect moment. Here are the ways you can take to reconnect and have a better relationship with him:
Begin with a personal assessment of your feelings involving your guilt, anger, or resentment that you have been holding up inside that coincide with you and your dad. Think with a cold head, forgive, and try to calm yourself to see the situation between you and your dad more clearly. It’s time to step forward and leave all the disappointment behind. Make peace with yourself.
Open the dialogue
Communication is the key in reconnecting with your father. If waiting for him to contact you first seems too exhausting, why don’t you start it first? You can open the dialogue by texting, calling, or going over to his house. At this step, leave your stress and personal guilt or resentment behind you. Open the dialogue with the easiest thing for you.
Consider write him a letter
Think about how the disconnection with your father began in the first place. If he is the one who set the boundaries between both of you, try reconnecting with a letter that allows him to respond on his own time. Maybe it’s not a good time to talk about ‘serious’ things that caused the friction between you, so this letter will act as an “opener” to a better relationship. It may contain your invitation to have a drink together, or simply just asking him about his whereabouts.
Manage your expectation
What is your expectation in reconnecting to your dad? Do you want to have a blasting Father’s Day celebration? Or just have a long talk with him? Don’t set your expectation too much, because nothing is perfect. Expectation can have you paralyzed by the anxiety of it.
Include your siblings
Together with your siblings, if you have them, make a plan to have a little Father’s Day celebration this year. It does not have to be expensive, just a dinner together in a nice restaurant is enough. Involving your siblings in this will reduce your anxiety about unpleasant one-on-one time together. Having others around often keeps good behavior flowing.
Look from his viewpoints
There is always a reason behind one’s acts and behavior. Attempt to consider your father’s interests and viewpoints, even if they are completely against your own. Your father is a human who makes mistakes and imperfect, and sometimes he cannot understand or accept certain aspects in you. This time, cut your dad some slacks, try to “wear his glasses”.