Traumatic memories are usually difficult fto leave behind. Despite the passage of time, the pain and sorrow of what happened may continue haunting. If you are stuck in this position, then it is time to move on from the past, which is holding you back from achieving your future the goals.
Here are some 7 ways to letting go that you can apply in your life:
Take the silver lining and move on
These experiences might be painful that it has left you traumatized, but there is a silver lining despite all this. Unbeknownst to you, the pain of that experience can leave you more cautious of what might happen in the future. Take some time to reflect on what happened, stay optimistic and focus on the bright side. In fact, it would even be more effective if you begin to reflect on what really happened, how you feel about the circumstances and how you can use this to empower yourself and your feelings.
Express your pain
When in pain, expression of pain is often cathartic. What’s more, it is necessary to minimize the pain that you are feeling. You can do this by talking to the person who has hurt you, talking to a good friend or even writing it down. Describing the degree of your emotions and sharing them will help express the grief that you are going through. Doing this will aid you in sorting out your feeling and therefore move on easier.
Holding on to your feelings will only make it worse, as it can increase your chances of various mental and physical illnesses such as anxiety, depression, headache and high blood pressure. Another tip that you can use during this stage is to use “I” messages to make the focus more internal.
Stop pointing fingers
Pointing fingers and assigning blame might be the easiest course of action when you are feeling hurt. However doing this continuously can help your progress of moving on with your life. When you are blaming or pointing fingers to other people, it means that you are giving your power away which will make us feel smaller. Other than that, blaming other people makes us automatically enter the negative zone rather than feel empowered and positive about our experiences.
Forgive those who wronged you, including yourself
Stopping to point fingers may be hard in itself, but forgiving those who have hurt you might be an even bigger challenge. Forgiveness is not for them, but rather for the purpose of spiritual growth. Some of the things that you can do it embracing the past while moving on, making a new agreement with yourself, not going to sleep angry and being kind and generous.
Along the way, you will also have to forgive yourself. As best as we try in life, nobody is perfect and you are bound to make mistakes. It’s no use berating yourself over your past mistakes, so cut yourself some slack and focus on what you have gained from the experience. Letting go of that anger and resentment quickens the pace of your recovery.
Focus on the present
Rather than being caught up in the past, try to embrace the present. Continuously thinking of the past will only fill you with negativity, making the healing process much more difficult. Which is why one of the things that you can do is focusing on your latest endeavors whether it’s learning a new skill, meditate, exercising, having dinner with a new friend or even involving yourself on a personal project. Try to be mindful about how you feel by being aware of how you are feeling while accepting the negative feelings you experience as just a part of life.
Figure out what’s keeping you stuck
In order to move on from the current circumstances that has hurt you, it is imperative that you understand how you are truly feeling. Trying to cover up how you feel will just make it worse as you won’t be able to find out what makes you feel worse. Finding out the reason why you are holding on is usually enough to make you start to move on. By recognizing what has happened, you will be able to change and reframe your mind to move on.
Commit to letting go
The last and most important step to this process is to commit. Letting go of it is not going to be easy, but staying committed to letting go will help tremendously. By taking the power in your hand, it will give you the sense of responsibility and will empower you tremendously. Letting of the issue also means that you choose to unburden yourself and move on to other ventures in the future. Leaving the past behind will not take overnight and might even take a lot of work and time. Staying patient and committed on your course will help you tremendously in achieving what you desire.
Some of the most painful events could traumatize you so deeply that that you are always reminded of them in the future. It might even hinder your chances in the future of exploring something new due to the fear of the past. Time keeps going on and new problems will always arise in the future to test you. The tips above will tremendously help you in moving on from the trauma in the past and face the future more readily.
What are some of the tips that you have already applied to your life? Is there any other tips that you would like to test out? Tell us in the comment section below!