The Key to Self Esteem



It’s about liking yourself

One usually doesn’t say, “I have self-esteem” like one would say, “I have jaundice.” In that sense, self-esteem is difficult to pinpoint. To most people, self-esteem is an abstract concept one talks about in theoretical terms.

But have you ever thought why Sheila does not collapse under stress? Or why Rohit always has a solution to the problem? Or how Monica manages to have such an egalitarian relationship with her husband? Or why Laila, who is not the most attractive woman around, has such a good looking boyfriend? The answer is self-esteem.

Self-esteem means that you are comfortable with the person you are. You are proud of the good in yourself, but are aware of the bad. You have been able to reconcile yourself to your limitations and have learned to work around them. In short, you like yourself. You’re probably thinking, “What’s the big deal about that? How can a person not like himself?”

What it means to have self-esteem

In fact, people who have self-esteem are not all that common. If you think about it, almost everyone you know is not happy about some aspect of himself or herself. Some people wish they looked different; some wish they had more money; others that they were more popular. These are people who have low self-esteem, which makes it necessary for them to constantly seek approval from the people around them in order to feel good about themselves. While people with high self-esteem may have similar doubts, they are fleeting as they have learnt to overcome them by capitalizing on their plus points.

People with self-esteem tend to be more content. They bounce back faster from a crisis. They are not afraid to take risks. They do not waste time worrying about problems. They believe in taking action to solve any problems that may crop up. They tend to be more flexible and adjust easily to changing situations. They are not commitment-shy when it comes to relationships because they are not uptight about compromising and giving of themselves.

It’s clear that a child who has self-esteem is happier, more creative, better adjusted, more confident and resilient. Every parent would like to see his or her child grow up to be like that. This is where you come in. Parents play a very important role in giving their children a sense of self-worth. This is because for a larger part of their formative years, children derive confidence and a sense of who they are from the way their parents treat them.